I Heard Them Calling in the Distance so I Packed My Things and Ran

I heard Little Talks for the first time when I was 15-- it was a free song of the week on iTunes, and I downloaded it. After listening to that song a few couple hundred times, I completely fell in love with Of Monsters and Men. From that time forward, I listened to their album My Head Is An Animal constantly, tacking on a lot of good times and memories with it and vowing to myself that if they ever came in concert to Utah, I would attend.

Well, 6 years passed, I kept listening to them, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty came out, Dirty Paws became a hit for everybody everywhere, their new album Beneath the Skin was released, which was even better than the first, and I was becoming impatient to see them in concert.
I searched their tour dates and was initially disappointed to see no dates for Utah, however, they had a concert in LA that I was considering pretty heavily on attending. Until, I checked their tour dates again. Lo and behold, Salt Lake City, Utah, appeared on the list.
I was so happy and went and bought tickets right then. (actually, it was a month later when the tickets actually became available)

Last night, was the night of the concert, and my dream came true. It completely exceeded any and all expectations that I could have ever possibly had. I'm not even mad that the friend I was supposed to go with invited all of her other friends and practically ditched me. In fact,  I think that being by myself made it better because I was able to feel the music completely and individually. And I did and I loved every minute of it.

Mornings

I found this video the other day and instantly fell in love.
I guess one thing you need to know about me is that I have fallen completely in love with Yoga.
Maybe it's the fact that I believe in mindfulness and ujjayi breath
Probably, it's more that Yoga makes me feel lighter and helps me to be better
They call it centering.

This video, Mornings, illustrates the capacity and control that I aim to one day have when practicing Yoga, on my own, in my own apartment, in a city, probably Chicago. . .  I digress.
The capacity and control represents, I guess (because of course it means something deeper than just just doing some stretching), the capacity and control I want to have in my life.
More days than not, I feel out of control.
I feel like I am an instrument for other people to talk to or talk at, and my inherent need to please everybody around me keeps me from saying, "No or hold on or another time"
I feel like I laugh too hard and talk too much just for the sake of being heard
Maybe because I am silently yelling at myself to be quiet
To work harder
To be better.

This control,
This centering
This is what everybody is trying to obtain-- at least my perception tells me so
Because that's what I'm personally trying to obtain.
And so I identify myself with Yoga because it gives me that, or at least makes me believe that I can work and improve myself to be more controlled and more centered.
Thus, I found this video and instantly fell in love because the instructor is beautifully illustrating the individuality that Yoga can bring. It illustrates the connection with yourself that you can have through asanas and breath and practice.
It illustrates being quiet
Working harder
Being better.

Thusly, I'm Back.

It's been awhile since I've posted on this lovely site of mine. After graduating high school, moving out, spending my first year of college in Logan, my parents moving to Chicago, me moving back to American Fork, beginning my second year of college, and finally declaring my major as psychology, I've decided to resurrect the blog.

I feel it important to share, however, that the posts will still be as irregular as they were before. Thus, the purpose of the blog is for myself than, really, anybody else. The reason being in a personal life story, which goes as follows: as I experienced my first year of college and lived on my own, I realized how unstable life can be. I realized how crazy emotions can get, and I realized that if you aren't practiced in reading yourself and understanding how you react to certain situations, instability can cause extreme emotions and a confusing lifestyle. Thus, this is what happened to me, and I ended up needing outside help to aid in coping and creating a new stability for myself. Which, by the way, I'm not ashamed about! I think this is the real reason why I decided to do a psychology major. All of this being said, however, one of the things that my therapist taught me was to write out thoughts because it is one of the best ways to process and cope with all of the crazy that life presents.

So, the point of that story wasn't to sob and pity myself for the hard time I went through. Actually, it's meant to celebrate it, and resurrecting this blog is in light of that celebration to say that I'm here, I'm trying, and I'm helping myself be happy; I'm writing my thoughts and I'm understanding my feelings.

Thus, if you happen across this blog and see that I've finally posted again and are shocked by the change in tone and perspective, know that, really, my message is all positive. My message is about being happy and mindful and alive and finding the beauty in life. That's what's truly important!

Until We Meet Again

It's been awhile. Yes, yes, I know. In fact it's been 3 months since I've updated this blog of mine. It's about time, right? Wrong. I'm going to take a little break. I have zero time this summer to type up all of my non existent stories, so I'm not even going to try. So, farewell to you blog stalkers out there. Or you nice people who read my blog. Until we meet again and I find time to update. In the meantime. . . I'll be here:

and here

and here

and here

and here

And let's not forget here

and here

(:

Gone Fishing. Ha, I wish!

Oh, man. I'm alive- don't even worry. I've been busier than I have ever been in my entire 17 years of life, and that really isn't even a lie. If you're really that enthrolled with wanting to know all about my life, you're going to have to hang tight for a little while while I hike my pants back into place. ( I don't think that even makes sense, but you know, I thought it sounded good).

Just so you know, I quit Rib City, got a job and Cinemark 6 a.k.a Water Garden's Theater, AND Flipside Cafe. People always look at me questioningly when I tell them, and this is what I say: GO TO FLIPSIDE CAFE!!! It's so great. Here's their website. And to top it all off I still go to school. Yep . . . shocker, I know. The point is, my schedule is crazy and I don't know how to handle it just yet.

Anyway, I haven't died, I'm just being neglectful of this blog. Or prioritizing. Yep, that sounds more accurate. Sorry. Hang tight, kids!

(:

Give Me a Reason

A little shout out to Shaylee and Sierra Dunyon for showing me this song. I love it SO much, so thanks. (:

A little news: I've been asked to participate in a blog representation by the lovely Hannah over at Stay Gold in Germany. Go check her blog out!

Happy Birthday to Ema yesterday! Boy, I sure do love that girl. I met her near the end of the summer. She is from Sweden and is here on a foreign exchange. She's funny and loving and holds fantastic conversations. She loves to read and write and laugh which is good because I like to do all those things too! (: We went to Rib City for dinner, came back to her house and ate cake, and then met with the missionaries. I had a good time, and I hope she did too. I really hope, though, that her birthday was a good one because she sure does deserve it!!!!


Just a little update of this week: stressful. That one word sums it up quite perfectly. I woke up at 5 in the morning twice to get homework done that hadn't gotten done, and today I stayed after for math help for 2 solid hours: from 2:15 to 4:15, and I would have stayed longer if I hadn't needed to get home to eat and change for work. Which, by the way, was a great time. I'm getting the hang of the menu and the computer and serving, so I had a very enjoyable time tonight. (:  In my World Religion's class we performed the epic Ramayana. . . I sure wish it had gone better than it did. I had this vision in my head (as I always do) and like always my vision isn't put to life. I got called out on my perfectionism, though, through this assignment, and it made me realize that yeah, maybe I am a perfectionist. And yeah, maybe it really is annoying sometimes, but when it comes down to it, the things that I get done gets done well. Also, I learned that I'm better at projects if I'm just doing them by myself. (:

I hope everybody else had a great week. It's always good to have the weekend to just get a handle on things again and be able to start fresh again on Monday. And, if you go to AF and you're reading this, thank goodness Mondays are short days, right???? At least that's what I'm thinking!

Anyway, listen to some music from The Help.

Maybe some Little Women too

They never fail to calm me down.

Au revior

My Name's Sidney, and I'll be Your Server Tonight

I finally got a job.
 After a year and a half of trying, something finally gave.
The restaurant Rib City is the place where it's all at.

Tony, the owner, has had a lot of issues with theft and bad workers, so she only hires based on recommendations. My friend Dani has worked there since she was 15, so all of the recommendations given by her are taken seriously by Tony. Dani had put my name in multiple times over the course of a couple of weeks, and last Monday Dani texted me telling me to come in and talk to Tony- she was looking for two new servers, and this was my chance. The "interview" wasn't really an interview. She asked me what my experience was, when I could and couldn't work, when I could start, gave me a shirt and that was that. I honestly was ecstatic with the situation, and couldn't wait to start.

Last Wednesday was my first day, I went Friday, and tonight as well. Obviously, I have to be trained, and so Carla is the person doing the task. She is fantastic, seriously. She walks me through everything, goes through details, and gives me advice. Her personality is very by the book, do the rules, and do it right. Tonight, there was a new girl training, and so I was put on to train with Becky instead of with Carla. Becky is completely different from Carla. She's laid back, has fun, looks for things to laugh at in everything, and barely gave me any instruction. It really was the best contrast I could ever ask for. I saw two different kinds of serving, two different kinds of personality, and two different ways of handling some of the same situations.

Now, don't think that the training is going all perfect and nothing could be better. In all honesty, this is the most stressful work I have ever experienced. There is so much to remember. I have to memorize the menu, know the specials, know the portion sizes, know how to work the computer, remember all the orders, be personable but not too annoying, help the kitchen run, balance tables, and work quickly. I feel like everything cancels each other out, so I am going in circles. Really, it's just new and I have no idea what I'm doing, so I'm faking it until I make it. It's going to take time, and I can already see it's going to take a lot of long, hard, exhausting nights until I get it down and good. It'll all come eventually- I just don't want that eventually to be forever away. Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist, anyway.

In the grand scheme, I am so glad I got a job. It's something new and it's stretching me very hard. Wish me luck- come visit me sometime! Rib City does make the best baby back ribs. (: