I Heard Them Calling in the Distance so I Packed My Things and Ran

I heard Little Talks for the first time when I was 15-- it was a free song of the week on iTunes, and I downloaded it. After listening to that song a few couple hundred times, I completely fell in love with Of Monsters and Men. From that time forward, I listened to their album My Head Is An Animal constantly, tacking on a lot of good times and memories with it and vowing to myself that if they ever came in concert to Utah, I would attend.

Well, 6 years passed, I kept listening to them, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty came out, Dirty Paws became a hit for everybody everywhere, their new album Beneath the Skin was released, which was even better than the first, and I was becoming impatient to see them in concert.
I searched their tour dates and was initially disappointed to see no dates for Utah, however, they had a concert in LA that I was considering pretty heavily on attending. Until, I checked their tour dates again. Lo and behold, Salt Lake City, Utah, appeared on the list.
I was so happy and went and bought tickets right then. (actually, it was a month later when the tickets actually became available)

Last night, was the night of the concert, and my dream came true. It completely exceeded any and all expectations that I could have ever possibly had. I'm not even mad that the friend I was supposed to go with invited all of her other friends and practically ditched me. In fact,  I think that being by myself made it better because I was able to feel the music completely and individually. And I did and I loved every minute of it.

Mornings

I found this video the other day and instantly fell in love.
I guess one thing you need to know about me is that I have fallen completely in love with Yoga.
Maybe it's the fact that I believe in mindfulness and ujjayi breath
Probably, it's more that Yoga makes me feel lighter and helps me to be better
They call it centering.

This video, Mornings, illustrates the capacity and control that I aim to one day have when practicing Yoga, on my own, in my own apartment, in a city, probably Chicago. . .  I digress.
The capacity and control represents, I guess (because of course it means something deeper than just just doing some stretching), the capacity and control I want to have in my life.
More days than not, I feel out of control.
I feel like I am an instrument for other people to talk to or talk at, and my inherent need to please everybody around me keeps me from saying, "No or hold on or another time"
I feel like I laugh too hard and talk too much just for the sake of being heard
Maybe because I am silently yelling at myself to be quiet
To work harder
To be better.

This control,
This centering
This is what everybody is trying to obtain-- at least my perception tells me so
Because that's what I'm personally trying to obtain.
And so I identify myself with Yoga because it gives me that, or at least makes me believe that I can work and improve myself to be more controlled and more centered.
Thus, I found this video and instantly fell in love because the instructor is beautifully illustrating the individuality that Yoga can bring. It illustrates the connection with yourself that you can have through asanas and breath and practice.
It illustrates being quiet
Working harder
Being better.

Thusly, I'm Back.

It's been awhile since I've posted on this lovely site of mine. After graduating high school, moving out, spending my first year of college in Logan, my parents moving to Chicago, me moving back to American Fork, beginning my second year of college, and finally declaring my major as psychology, I've decided to resurrect the blog.

I feel it important to share, however, that the posts will still be as irregular as they were before. Thus, the purpose of the blog is for myself than, really, anybody else. The reason being in a personal life story, which goes as follows: as I experienced my first year of college and lived on my own, I realized how unstable life can be. I realized how crazy emotions can get, and I realized that if you aren't practiced in reading yourself and understanding how you react to certain situations, instability can cause extreme emotions and a confusing lifestyle. Thus, this is what happened to me, and I ended up needing outside help to aid in coping and creating a new stability for myself. Which, by the way, I'm not ashamed about! I think this is the real reason why I decided to do a psychology major. All of this being said, however, one of the things that my therapist taught me was to write out thoughts because it is one of the best ways to process and cope with all of the crazy that life presents.

So, the point of that story wasn't to sob and pity myself for the hard time I went through. Actually, it's meant to celebrate it, and resurrecting this blog is in light of that celebration to say that I'm here, I'm trying, and I'm helping myself be happy; I'm writing my thoughts and I'm understanding my feelings.

Thus, if you happen across this blog and see that I've finally posted again and are shocked by the change in tone and perspective, know that, really, my message is all positive. My message is about being happy and mindful and alive and finding the beauty in life. That's what's truly important!